Posted by: Kim Roberts | May 20, 2013

Old Stories and New Stories

Today I realized that I’m being prompted to go beyond my comfort zone. I’m faced with a situation that asks me to either jump into the fire or run and hide in my clam shell.

Guess which one I would prefer?

Clam shell, 100%.

Guess which one I’m going to do?

Yep. I’m gonna burn. Jumping into the fire and see what’s left after the flames die down.

There are two ways to go through this life: willingly, or unwillingly. You can either accept what is offered, and create joy from the fodder, or you can resist and spend alot of time crying. I’ve tried that one and don’t really recommend it. Total acceptance means allowing events to unfold before your eyes without trying to manipulate them to fit into your plan. It means managing the fear and doubt that come with integrating new ways of being. It also sometimes means radical shifts in awareness and deep rooted bliss.

Next time you are faced with a challenge, see if you can drop your old story long enough to entertain the possibility of a new ending to your story.

Posted by: Kim Roberts | April 30, 2013

Second annual Contemplative Psychology Intensive in Phuket

Getting ready for our second annual Contemplative Psychology Retreat Intensive this week at Amanpuri Villas in Phuket. It’s not at all a bad place to have a retreat.

Ten graduate students from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology will learn the foundations of Ashtanga yoga, shamatha sitting meditation, and practices of loving kindness and compassion, all with the view of applying these tools to the therapeutic process.

Though I think staying in such a gorgeous environment is itself therapy. I’m already healed.

Amanpuri villa

Posted by: Kim Roberts | April 22, 2013

How to make your own map when the world give you a bogus one

One day in my late thirties, it became painfully obvious that family life was not my path. While my girlfriends were busy starting families, I was increasingly obsessed with yoga. Until that point we had shared goals and dreams, but with no crumbs and spilled milk on the back seat of my car and no husband anywhere in sight, my life was taking a different direction from theirs. I realized I needed a new map. So I decided to pack up and move to South India for a year to study yoga.

In Mysore, I rented a big old house and a beat-up moped. Every morning at 5 am I saluted the sun and stood on my head. Every afternoon I hosted a wanton mix of students at my home for a class on yoga philosophy. I dodged cows and Tata trucks on my scooter and hung fresh garlands of jasmine over my doorway. Every evening, after meditation, I sat on my front step under the gently swaying palm trees and contemplated how bizarre, and how utterly right this choice had been.

I learned to relax that year. I became softer. I learned to breathe deeply and to keep a strict discipline. I finally learned to silence the constant self-doubt that was an heirloom from a chaotic family environment. I started to paint. I earned a teaching authorization that gave me confidence to pursue my passion further. Suddenly I could travel the world and make a decent living doing it.

When I stopped trying to fit myself into others’ versions of how I should my life, I relaxed profoundly. I followed my heart to what brings me happiness: yoga. And, while I was busy doing what I love, I found a community that shared my passion. I found my tribe. Rather than playing tag-a-long with my girlfriend’s families, I created my own.

Perhaps a spiritual journey is about making peace with our circumstances, even when life does not go the way we expect. I’ve learned that in order to respect myself, I need to honor my quirky choice of lifestyle.

That year in Mysore was one of the best years of my life. The yoga practices are part of my daily routine, and I still keep in touch with many of the friends I made there. And now I’ve got the right map to find my way home if ever I get lost.

Posted by: Kim Roberts | April 15, 2013

The lonely path of the pilgrim

Pilgrims rarely set out as happy folk. Someone who has recently won the lottery, for example, or married the crown prince, is not your typical pilgrim candidate. What forces a person to undertake (and it’s an apt word for someone who is hoping to kill the ego) the spiritual journey is usually not success or fulfillment. It’s more often a crisis or lack, a longing that is hard to understand. In a word, this is often the initiation to an arduous path of seeking refuge in the source: suffering.

I’ve had an incredible journey through exotic lands. I’ve met with wise women and men who have shown me wisdom, even if I am not always ready to hear it. I’ve been exposed to magic and witnessed miracles. There’s no doubt that I am a fortunate being who has been blessed with the opportunity to travel the path of a wandering yogini.

But pilgrimage does not alleviate suffering. If anything it makes it worse.

A pilgrim suffers from a sense of not belonging, wherever she goes. She never really feels that she belongs anywhere. She doesn’t have her own family, and the temporary tribes that take her in are transient at best. At their worst, they are destructive.

The pilgrim is often lonely. That same impulse that propels the pilgrim along her path is the same seed that makes her fierce and independent, necessary traits for someone facing the unknown. The pilgrim is unable to settle blindly into a conformist norm. She reel when thrown into mundane routine, lashes out when lulled into complacency. She can’t tolerate submission for the sake of custom. She yearns for a partnership, someone to share this long journey, but somehow the pilgrim always ends up alone. Sometimes she is a complete disaster at relationship.

Which is, I suppose, what allows her to continue along this path. Her heart suffers, and so she is compelled to seek solace. In the absence of human love, she seeks peace, which she does find from time to time. It’s a small consolation.

She suffers from a hunger to know her place in this universe–to understand the reason she was born, because most days she has no fucking clue. The best she can do is to trudge along with a gentle smile, one moment to the next, watching for signs of beauty and waiting for opportunities to help.

The pilgrim needs to learn just one thing:  that she is here to help others along the path.

Only then will she realize that her journey ended the day she began.

What an incredible relief it is to understand

that the ultimate pilgrimage

is right in the center of our own hearts.

Richard Freeman

Posted by: Kim Roberts | April 8, 2013

My favorite vipassana meditation retreat center in Thailand

One of my favorite places for a meditation retreat is Wat Suan Mok, in the Surat Thani province of Thailand. Just an hour’s drive from the planet’s oldest rainforest and Khao Sok National Forest, this gorgeous retreat center holds a monthly 10 day vipassana retreat for westerners from the 1st to the 10th of each month. You can’t make reservations–just show up the last day of the month and you can spend the night for free at the monastery next door. Registration happens early morning on the 1st.

The living situation is simple, but there’s everything you need: private rooms, natural hot springs, lots of nature to walk around in, afternoon teachings with a seasoned western monk– he guides you step by step through the approach to shamatha and vipassana meditation–and some of the best vegetarian meals I’ve had in Thailand, created with organics from the garden.

Oh, and it’s the only meditation retreat I’ve ever found where you have two full free hours dedicated to yoga practice each and every morning. There are led classes for beginners, one for men, one for women; and there are also two open spaces reserved if you have your own practice: one for men, and one for women. At the time I was there, I was the only one practicing in the women’s hall, so I had glorious silence (punctuated by crickets) as I practiced each dawn. So inspiring.

After the retreat you can make your way south to the pier and hop on the ferry to Koh Phangan for some transition time on the beach.

http://www.suanmokkh-idh.org

Wat Suan Mok, Surat Thani province, Thailand

Outdoor meditation hall at Wat Suan Mok, Surat Thani province, Thailand

Posted by: Kim Roberts | April 1, 2013

Desire in the Dark Age

Clearly we are at the deep end of the dark age. I can tell because I’ve spent the last week eating cheese puffs. Like most of us here in the desire realm, I grasp at the world of form in a misguided attempt to reduce suffering. The array of distractions is vast: Cary Grant films, holidays at the beach, classic literature, retail therapy, red wine, dark chocolate, and, most recently, bite-sized bits of baked cornmeal covered in fake cheese.

The results are brilliant, though short-term. I encourage myself whenever possible to step out of this ultimately self-defeating cycle, but when the going gets rough, as it seems to be increasingly doing, I figure it’s better to choose my relatively harmless poison rather than losing it entirely and moving into heavier domains of negative karma, like homicide.

A few years ago, while I was trying to stay cheerful in the face of yawning issues like war, economic depression, and social disintegration, a popular Western Dharma teacher swept me off my feet. He lavished me with attention, entreated me to quit my job overseas and return to the US so that he could “take care of me.” After some time considering his offer, I showed up at his door one fine day. He dropped me the same day without warning, leaving me, in essence, on the street.  I subsequently learned that he had been less than honest with me. Of course, that’s my version, and if you ask him he would no doubt tell you another story. Now, I am a big girl and have learned to take care of myself, but I have to admit that this unfortunate episode was the culprit of my current one bag a week habit. I am still a bit disillusioned and apathetic, and every so often it comes back to haunt me.

“That’s bullshit,” offered a helpful dharma friend when I shared my disappointment. I might add that he was not my friend for the ensuing 5 minutes. I had gone out on a limb and trusted someone who is considered an “expert” in the field of loving-kindness. Isn’t that a fair description of someone who teaches Dharma? Was it so absurd of me to expect him to behave with integrity, and to treat me with respect? It does, however, make it rather hard to consider trusting someone again.

But then I got it. My indignation was just as confused, just as “wrong” as my betrayer’s disrespect. This is not the “Get What You Want” program. This is samsara, and our job as practitioners is to see through this dualistic illusion and help others to do the same. If we were looking for the pureland, then we took the wrong exit in the bardo–we took a smoky left instead of heading straight for the bright lights of dewachen. So by default, we signed up for this life of unfulfilled desire, lies, lust, jealousy, pride and outrage. It’s our job to work with it as it is. And that is so Un-American.

The point is that this path is not about creating a version of reality that we can live with. It’s about living with the version of reality that we have created. And this is a tricky one for Americans who have heard from birth that we can have it our way, with a side of fries. Does this make Dharma practice more difficult for us? Maybe. If we are to become bodhisattvas, we first need to learn to treat each other well before we can consider benefiting all sentient beings. And that sometimes means not having it our way.

As Dharma practitioners, sometimes I think we have it harder in the US because of our lack of roots. We are the newest country on the planet, and so have the shortest history. We also have an exquisitely developed culture of materialism that lacks deeply entrenched traditions, leaving our social fabric at times pathetically frayed. Our freedom to choose can translate as startling superficiality.

Desire thrives in this culture of materialism, so if we live here, we are constantly encouraged to wonder: What Do I Want? Of course humans in the East also deal with such issues, and yet the strength of family tradition in many Asian cultures creates a different holding environment for working with desire. Each culture creates its own unique set of habitual patterns to work with; we might say that the American habit is confusing freedom of choice with freedom plain and simple.

Is this a problem? Or could we look at it from the point of view of endless possibilities to deepen our understanding of practice, and to see that the original nature is not obscured by any of these games. In these dark times, any opportunity to wake up to what is true should be welcomed. Perhaps from that perspective, if we are serious practitioners living in the West, we already have everything we want.

Posted by: Kim Roberts | March 25, 2013

Make a Wish

The Great Stupa of Dharmakaya at Boudhanath is said to grant wishes to those who ask with faith and devotion. Five years ago, I made the journey to Nepal to try my luck. My root guru passed away before I met him, (you’d have to understand the teachings of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to know what I mean by that) and I was looking for a live teacher to guide me on the Buddhist path.

Walking around the generous stupa, crossing my fingers for a teacher, I was suddenly shocked awake by a realization. Like that scene in Charade when Cary Grant’s character suddenly realizes that the $100,000 he is looking for is pasted on the mysterious envelope:  the stamp is worth thousands. I suddenly realize, as the stupa starts spinning around me and the blood rushes to my head: what a silly girl. I have a teacher. He lives a one-minute walk from here, at a monastery near the stupa. All at once I understand the significance of the term “power places” and how the mind is somehow more able to tune in.

I had totally forgotten that seven years earlier, I asked Thrangu Rinpoche to be my teacher. He had smiled brightly, sat up straight, and said, “I accept.”

And I promptly forgot about it because I got so busy with my life.

Next morning Rinpoche’s radiant smile welcomed me into his private room.

“Nice to see you,” he said.

Flash forward five years, to Last week while I was attending teachings with Thrangu Rinpoche. Again, the stupa did not disappoint. While wishing for an insight into the nature of mind, I had a moment of pure peace and contentment.

Boudhanath Stupa

The Great Stupa of Dharmakaya at Boudhanath, Nepal–Make a wish!!

Posted by: Kim Roberts | March 18, 2013

Kathmandu

One of the best things about visiting Kathmandu is the auspicious presence of spiritual masters. On my recent visit, I was fortunate enough to spend time with a few of them. Here at Shechen Monastery, a drupchen was in progress…

Shechen puja

Ritual dance at Shechen monastery, Boudhanath


Dilgo Khyentse Yangsi Rinpoche, the reincarnation of the great master of the last century, presided over the complex ritual, which ended in a blessing ceremony. The final day we all received empowerment for the blessing.

Yangsi

Dilgo Khyentse Yangsi Rinpoche, giving blessings

The great yogi Khenpo Tsultrim Gyatso Rinpoche receives visitors each morning. The day I arrived there was no one else, so I had a private audience with him. He received my white kata, chanted a “Sarva Mangalam” for the benefit of all beings, and then proceeded to whack me on the head three times, (quite hard I admit) for the benefit of…I have no idea. Let’s just hope he knocked some sense into me. I think that was the point. In any case the act was so surprising that I spent the better part of our time together in hysterical laughter.

small and cropped khenpo rinpoche 2

Khenpo Tsultrim Gyatso Rinpoche, looking innocent after whacking me on the head

The best part was seeing my teacher, the Very Venerable Thrangu Rinpoche.

Sunday Morning

The always smiling and always magical Very Venerable Thrangu Rinpoche

Posted by: Kim Roberts | March 11, 2013

Are You a Global Yogi?

This week’s post is submitted by Michelle Taffe, creator of The Global Yogi website. Here is an excerpt of her new Ebook, Becoming a Global Yogi. Michelle interviewed me as one of 5 yoga teachers in the book, to offer advice on how to develop an international teaching career.

Since I launched the global yogi website, many people – both yogis and non yogis – have asked me ‘So, what is a global yogi, exactly?’

A global yogi is someone who makes their living as a yoga teacher, but who is also passionate about travel, so they have decided to take their yoga teaching on the road and combine their passion for yoga with their passion for connecting with other cultures and people worldwide.

Why would you want to combine yoga and travel?

Yoga is an inward journey. Through regular asana practice, you slowly get to know your body on a whole different level. You learn where there are energy blockages through recognising that some postures are much more challenging than others: these are usually the ones you need to work on most in order to release energy blockages and tension in that part of your body. Combining a regular asana practice with meditation and breath work (pranayama), the student of yoga goes deeper and deeper inside themselves on a fascinating journey: one that leads to balance and union of mind, body and soul.

Travel, on the other hand, is usually more of an outward journey. We travel in order to discover other places, other people and other cultures. Encounters with people who think differently, act differently and express themselves differently from us open our mind. We are forced to reassess our beliefs and ideas about life almost constantly when we travel – especially in countries that are very foreign to us, and where perhaps we don’t speak the native language.

Combining the inward journey of yoga with the outward journey of travel is a very enriching and rewarding life path. And teaching yoga in other countries to students with different cultures and languages means you have to draw on different resources – perhaps to communicate postures in a different way – thus making you a more well rounded and capable teacher along the way.

If you love to travel, you long to live a life unrestrained by geographical and cultural boundaries, and you have found your passion in teaching yoga, then the global yogi life could suit you well. Obviously though, it is not without its challenges, and it takes a certain type of personality to be able to run an inter-continental yoga teaching business.

Below are some of the personality traits you’d need to have or to develop to become a successful global yogi.

An Entrepreneurial Spirit

A yoga teacher (even one without their own studio) is effectively running a small business. Running any sort of business takes an entrepreneurial spirit: a positive ‘can do’ attitude, a determination to succeed combined with self-motivation and a strong belief in oneself.

Taking your yoga teaching around the world requires all of these skills but also keen organisational skills, excellent planning capabilities, as well as a solid understanding of how to connect initially with prospective students and then build relationships with them.

Organisation Skills

In order to program your events for the year ahead – you need to be very organised, especially because you might have to be planning things while on the road. Retreats and trainings take some time to fill up, so they need to be organised and programmed well in advance.

Situation: Imagine you have planned a retreat in Indonesia on a remote island. You are very excited about it but there is only a month to go and the retreat is only half full. You have already booked and paid for the accommodation and food, and if you don’t manage to fill up your remaining spaces you won’t be able to cover your costs, let alone be paid by your work.

Strong Self-Belief

To teach yoga in your local studio, you need to believe that you have something worthwhile to impart to your students. But to teach students in a number of different countries, to run retreats and teacher trainings, you need to have a very strong belief in yourself and what you have to offer. Without this level of self belief it will be difficult to get through the challenging times – when perhaps an event doesn’t fill up and you have to cancel, or a class of students don’t really respond to your teaching in the way you hoped.

Determination

As a yoga teacher who travels the globe bringing yoga to all kinds of different people – you are effectively running a international business – even if on a micro scale. Getting enough work to sustain your travelling lifestyle during your initial years as a global yogi can be a challenge, so determination is a must. If your determination comes from a strong resolve to help people around the world benefit from yoga as you have, and is supported by a healthy self-belief, you are much more likely to succeed.

Independence

An independent spirit is an essential personality trait for any aspiring global yogi. Given you will likely be away from your home base for long periods of time, and travelling alone (unless you have a global yogi partner!) – you need to be comfortable in your own company and self reliant enough to know that you can overcome any curve ball that the travelling life may throw at you. And as any seasoned traveller knows, the curve balls will be thrown…how you receive them is up to you.

Resilience

Sometimes things will go wrong. You may be stuck in traffic and miss your flight and not be able to make it to your next event on time. Someone in your retreat or training may fall and have to be rushed to hospital – interrupting the event for everyone else. Maybe you will have to cancel an event because of not enough sign-ups and loose your deposit on the retreat centre as a result. These are just some of the mishaps that could befall a global yogi. You’ll need to be resilient enough to recover from them all stronger than before, having learnt that that they are just little hurdles on the road, that you can easily jump over rather than roadblocks which force you to stop and turn back the other way.

Does the world need more global yogis?

Do inversions improve blood circulation? Absolutely! Does the world need more global yogis? Most definitely! It is my firm belief that the revolution must come from within. If humans are to progress beyond their current paradigm – where aggression and destruction are more often than not the chosen ways to settle differences – there needs to be a worldwide consciousness shift. And this starts with each person finding peace and harmony within themselves.

Yoga is a powerful practice, which promotes the flowering of peace, harmony and love within the individual. And yoga teachers traveling the world sharing their knowledge and the teachings of their gurus are like bees cross pollinating the global consciousness. The students that they teach in one country are then energetically connected to those in another. And the teachings are slowly enriched and developed through contact with many different ideas, cultures and peoples.

Like to find out more? Read further details about the guide here.

Michelle is offering a free copy of the Guide to the first 10 subscribers from this blog who sign up to the Global Yogi News Digest. And she will send a discount code for 20% off the guide price for all subsequent subscribers. Just enter the code: TFR in the Special Offer box when you sign up.

Posted by: Kim Roberts | March 4, 2013

Inner Climate Change

Yoga is fundamentally a practice of working with the mind. Most people start with the physical postures, because that’s the easiest way to start to wrap your mind around the whole process of transforming mind. But yoga is much more than just what’s visible.

kim teaching cobra

So you work from the grossest to the most subtle levels, progressively fine-tuning and refining your awareness. You move the body in harmony with the breath in order to shift the energy dynamics and patterns of the physical body, which has a direct and immediate effect on the mind. Of course you can leave it at that, and be satisfied with a healthier body. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

kim cobra

But if you want to take things a little further, yoga has much more to offer. You can go much deeper into increasingly subtle aspects of interacting with your world, shifting the whole inner climate. Call it inner climate change.

Kim smiling teaching

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